Two Guys and A Cup...of Ice Cream

Gabriel casually walked into his apartment. Like a lioness he stalked through the messy “plains” that covered his living space. He found a path through the pizza boxes, clothes, and “man items” such as video games, comic books, pop cans, and balled up receipts. As he made his way into the kitchen he stopped dead in his steps. There was a naked woman raiding his almost empty refrigerator. He leaned on the counter and watched the woman open up his milk and sniff the carton. The woman stood about 5’6” and she was athletic, her legs were well cut as if she were a star soccer player or better yet, a track star. She had strawberry blonde hair that came past her shoulders and a bouquet of roses tattooed on the small of her back. This chick was classy. Gabriel watched the woman as she opened up a carryout box from Denny’s. He smirked when she grimaced at the hairy pancakes. Increasingly tired of watching this naked girl, Gabriel dropped his keys on the floor. The startled chick gasped and covered herself up when she saw Gabriel staring at her. “DAMIEN” he yelled. Gabriel went into his living room and snatched his robe off of his recliner. “I’m sorry, I live here to. I’m Damien’s brother” he said as he handed the girl his robe. Damien came running into the kitchen. He had his pillow over his crotch. Like the woman, he was also naked. “Your name?” asked Gabriel. “Cassidy” she replied as she tied the robe around her body. She looked at Gabriel then at Damien. “You guys are twins,” said Cassidy in a surprised tone. “Identical. Could you imagine that,” responded Gabriel suppressing a grin with his hand. Damien made an annoyed glance at his brother. “Hey Cassidy, why don’t you go back to the room” suggested Damien. “You mind if I shower?” asked Cassidy. “No not at all, I’ll be there in a minute” responded Damien. Gabriel watched as Damien stood there until he heard the shower come on. Gabriel pulled out a chair and sat down folding his arms and shaking his head at this brother. “You’re judging me. I can tell,” spoke Damien still holding the pillow over his crotch. “I could care less that she’s white. I’m judging you because she’s not Cheyenne. Your girlfriend” said Gabriel in a matter of fact tone. “That’s bullshit. If you had listened to me when you were drunk-“ “-I wasn’t drunk” interrupted Gabriel. “Regardless. I told you before you left for San Diego that we were taking a break. She’s on that bullshit again.” “Whatever man, do what you do” said Gabriel as he stood up from his chair. “Do you want to get lunch?” asked Damien. “You’re not taking Cassidy to breakfast?” asked Gabriel in reply. “Hell no, she’s a moron. In fact, when I go and join her in the shower I’ll tell her that you asked me to lunch to tell me how much fun you had networking with other weirdoes at that Nerd Convention” “I guess man, wake me up when you’re done with her. Where’d you meet her?” “Strip club. Don’t ask, it was a long night” said Damien as he chuckled to himself. “Last night was Sunday. You are so wrong for that. A strip club on a Sunday night?” asked Gabriel in the tone of a Southern Baptist Preacher. “Fuck you, Asshole” spat a smirking Damien. “I’m done. I’ll be waiting” said Gabriel. Before going to his room, Gabriel went back out to his car and lugged his bounty he picked up from the San Diego Comic Convention. His weekend was great. He managed to find the Bishoumou statues of Emma Frost and Wonder Woman, several rare action figures, and a couple of sketches from his favorite Comic Book Artist: Jim Lee, Brett Booth, and J. Scott Campbell. After a couple of trips to his car he was in his bed staring at the card Jim Lee had given him. Gabriel reclined on his bed, about thirty minutes later there was a knock on his door and his brother walked in. “You ready, bro?” asked Damien. Gabriel stared at his brother for a split second before responding. His brother was dressed in an “Ed Hardy” shirt. “Damien, you don’t have anything else to wear? I can’t be seen around with a black man wearing that “Ed Hardy” shit” said Gabriel. “All of my clothes are at Cheyenne’s this is the only clean shirt I have. I’d wear one of your shirts, but I’d automatically look like a virgin in your that superhero stuff” responded Damien. “I’m not a virgin,” said Gabriel with a chuckle. “You’ve been single for the last three years. You might as well be. I know you haven’t been with a woman,” spoke Damien. Gabriel got on his feet, and grabbed his wallet off his dresser. The two brothers walked out of the apartment and took the elevator downstairs. While in the elevator Gabriel was forced to watch as his brother hit on a married woman. Much to his chagrin, his brother was able to get the woman’s number. Gabriel closed his eyes when his brother winked at him. As they got off the elevator and walked out into the busy streets of downtown Chicago an old woman was struggling to pick up her groceries that fell onto the ground. Gabriel helped her gather her belongings as Damien stood by texting on his phone. “Thanks for your help” said Gabriel in a sarcastic tone. “She’s obviously homeless, why should I care?” asked Damien in aggravation. “What do you want to eat?” asked Gabriel as he started down the sidewalk. “I don’t know let’s just walk somewhere,” answered Damien. The brothers didn’t walk for long. A few blocks over, they stopped in front a strange looking café. It looked as if it were straight out of the 1950’s. There weren’t a lot of people dining inside. So naturally, Gabriel wanted to eat there. “This wasn’t here when I left last Wednesday. Have you seen this?” wondered Gabriel. “No mam, let’s eat here. I’m famished,” joked Damien. Gabriel and Damien walked in and were greeted by a girl that looked legal to Damien but not enough to Gabriel. She led them to a table and handed them their menus then walked off. “Bro, you should get her number. She’s definitely your type. Suicide girl all the way except she’s got a nice ass. She’s got some Asian in her and some black so mom would be proud” said Damien. “You sure you don’t want her? I bet she isn’t even eighteen. She’s looks like she still checks her MySpace” said an uninterested Gabriel as he looked over the menu. The girl returned to their table carrying two glasses of water. “Hi I’m Amber and I’ll be taking care of you guys.” “Where do you go to school?” asked Damien. Amber answered with a smile, “I’m a Freshman at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago” Gabriel looked up from his menu. He took in her appearance. Amber wore torn skinny jeans, and a black shirt. Her hair had streaks of red, and she wore it in pigtails. Her nails were painted purple, and she had a nose ring in her left nostril. Damien about fell out of his seat when he noticed her tongue ring while Gabriel was entranced with the phoenix she had tattooed on her left arm. “My brother, Gabriel here. Just graduated from the School last year.” Gabriel shot his eyes at his brother. “He’s really shy, he’s only had one girlfriend his entire life. Gabriel, why don’t you tell her about yourself?” “Excuse my brother, but he’s correct I was heavily involved in the Animation department. What are you studying there?” “Writing. You guys ready to order?” asked Amber. “No, what do you think we should try?” asked Damien. “We’ve got some new Ice Cream in. It’s my mother’s secret recipe. I can bring that for dessert or an appetizer. It’s whatever” Amber said rolling her eyes. “That sounds good. What flavor is it?” asked Gabriel. “It taste like “Mystery” to me. You know like the Air Head?” responded Amber. “Could we try a little bit while we look over the menu?” “Of course. You think you can handle it before your meal?” Damien started making faces behind his menu. “Just bring enough for us to share,” said Gabriel. Damien stared at Amber as she walked away. “You little shit, you just ruined your chance with her. I can’t believe you said that. Do you realize what you just did to not only yourself but to me as well? We’re sharing fucking ice cream. Two guys and a cup of Ice Cream, that’s so gay. You’re going to die alone, I couldn’t be you man,” said Damien as he shook his head in disgust. “She’s cute but I don’t mind being single, Damien. I’m getting to see my dreams come true. At the San Diego Comic Convention Jim Lee asked me to work on a special issue for the Justice League. I showed him my sketchbook and he was really impressed” boasted Gabriel as he showed Damien Jim Lee’s Card. “Whatever, If you don’t hit that. I will” said Damien. A few moments later Amber returned with a cup of Ice Cream. It was purple and looked as if it were mixed with glitter. Amber placed the cup of Ice Cream in the middle of the table and handed each brother a spoon. “That looks interesting,” spoke Gabriel. “Hey Amber, you should give me your number,” said Damien grinning at the girl. “Maybe. Tell me how you like the Ice Cream and if I like your answer, you can have it, but I don’t think you’ll want much of anything after you try it. It’s so good, better than sex,” she said smirking at Damien. Gabriel and Damien picked up their spoons and took some ice cream. They both swallowed the purple goodness, and for a second they smiled and nodded their heads in satisfaction. Then it got real… Gabriel and Damien grabbed their heads in pain. “BRAIN FREEZE”, they both yelled in unison. As they closed their eyes their heads started to spin. When “Gabriel” opened his eyes he was looking at Gabriel and when “Damien” opened his eyes he was looking at Damien. “What just happened?” asked Gabriel. “When did you get my shirt?” asked a confused Damien. The brothers stood up and looked at Amber. “This is some freaky Friday shit. Like Lindsay Lohan, Disney Channel shit,” exclaimed Damien. Gabriel sat back down. Amber just smiled at the brothers. “This did not just happen. You must have drugged us then switched our clothes. What would be the point. We look exactly alike. We’re Identical twins” “Except my biceps are bigger,” said Damien as he looked at his body across the table and felt his current arms. At that moment, two women walked up. Gabriel recognized them at once. The first was the married woman that Damien hit on and the second was the old lady he helped with her groceries. “It’s time you both learned something you don’t know about women. By midnight, the transformation will be complete. Your vices and virtues will switch. Both of you will take a journey in the others shoes. If you can learn what must be learned the curse will be reversed. If not, you’ll be stuck in each others bodies with each others vices and virtues,” said the Old woman. “Oh shit,” exclaimed the twins in unison. Written by, woRm-Wrting Original Rare Man.